Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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