Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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