I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
