just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
