I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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