too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
