She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
