I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
no, he came in my armpit
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Randomize
