no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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