i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
