The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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