so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
