OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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