After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
