In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
