Dual....:-)
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
