I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
