I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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