erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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