Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
