At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
