The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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