I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
