i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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