the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
