i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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