I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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