how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
