It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
