Welp...herpes.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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