I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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