This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
