This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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