its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
