I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
