Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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