i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
