You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
