first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
