he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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