And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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