Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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