I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
