last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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