chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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