They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
