I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
