thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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