you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
