I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just pee around me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
