i dedicated my morning wood to you.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
